Frosty Intervals

Before & After

2012-02-13T23:09:00.005Z

Over the last few months due to being lax whilst she studied for exams Miss Sensible's bedroom has slowly disintegrated into a case severe enough for a life laundry programme.

BEFORE: She has been asked nicely, cajoled, nagged and ranted at to no avail. In the end drastic measures were required and she was informed in no uncertain manner that there would be no more driving lessons or horse riding until the tip was tackled. As the first day of half term, today was D-day.

AFTER (five hours):It might not look much of an improvement but 4 carrier bags of Horse magazines have made their way to the re-cycling, along with 1.5 large refuse sacks of sundry paper waste, and a bag of general rubbish. Plus 50+ books and 2 carrier bags of stuff have now been donated to the charity shop....

During this exercise Miss Sensible was transported into reminiscence mode with every item of previously forgotten gubbins she found. I admit I am prone to a bit of nostalgia from time to time myself, but she does not get her hoarding gene from her mother!

I was quite glad when her shift at Waitrose meant clearing could legitimately cease for the day. Worn out...and we still haven't braved beneath her bed!!!!

I need to vent my spleen

2012-02-10T22:56:00.000Z

I've had such a week of Machiavellian activities ...we're talking the highest order of assignations and manoeuvring, underhand plans, continual change of allegiances, careerist tactics, divisiveness, extreme Teflon shouldering etc. etc. and that's just in HR ;o) We're talking about a manpower business where people are not an asset...they're there to be used, burnt out and then disposed of. I have never met such a dysfunction set of management in my life! ....I'm thinking of writing a book :o) 'How not to manage people'

ps. that's Niccolo Machiavelli in the pic in case you wondered

Yet another unbelievable tale

2012-02-08T21:34:00.010Z

When I joined the organisation almost 2 years ago I inherited a team of staff and all that entails. They were not of my selection but you have to just accept that and deal with whatever comes your way. One of the team, a young lady in her mid 20s has been particularly high maintenance. She has had just about every conceivable problem with her flat requiring time off to let tradesmen in, as well as boyfriend trouble resulting in tears in the toilets on a regular basis. One particularly bad occasion she txt myself and the Team Manager in the early hours of the morning to inform us she was at the police station pressing charges against her chap and consequently would be in late the next day. The poor Team Manager had to explain to his wife why a young woman was txting him in the middle of the night!!

On top of this she had difficulty managing her finances which necessitated myself and Ms. Cor-Blimey taking her to one side and assisting with provision of cash advances and instruction in the art of balancing the books. Having undertaken the role of financial advisor/surrogate mum and therefore been aware of how much in the red she was, we were shocked when she approached us to inform of her intent to have a ‘boob job’. This was duly booked and off she trotted.

All did not go according to plan however and she had to go back to her surgeon to have remedial work. Having run out of leave and unable to take time off unpaid, she was permitted to draw a couple of days holiday from the forthcoming year.

Now, most reasonable people would think that having been so supportive she would go out of her way to pull her weight at work…. Oh no…. instead she began to repeatedly be late for work. Cue the disciplinary process. Two warnings for poor time-keeping later, the date for a potential dismissal meeting loomed. At this stage the penny dropped and she decided to resign. We accepted her resignation on the basis she came in the next day and completed a handover….. and she was late!! Talk about add insult to injury.

So that is where you’d expect the story to end, no doubt? I too thought I had drawn a line under it all until I received an email from the CIO informing me that the IT bods had been cleansing previously owned Blackberries and found inappropriate images on one. One of the techies proudly announced he knew whose it was from the copious pics… of a pair of ladies breasts!!! I laughed my socks off…... Yep, you'd think she'd....but I’m getting to the stage where not much surprises me any more….

Jaw-dropping

2012-01-31T23:31:00.005Z

Another interesting day this end... We had a temporary cover problem on reception. One of the Managers says 'fret not an ex colleague of mine who's a really good chap is not working at the moment I can get him in at short notice and he'll be great to fill the slot'. 'Great' says I, 'but we don't have time to screen and vet him so he'll need to bring in at least a current Criminal Record Check'. Bright and early this morning he turns up in the office and the minute he passes me his CRB I know I've got a problem as it's more than one page long..... the list of offences runs to three pages including carrying an offensive weapon in a public place, possession of class A drugs, threatening behaviour, actual bodily harm, and considerably more, complete with a stint in one of HMs residential establishments. Guess who had to then tell him he wouldn't be working for us and politely ask him to leave the building....?

2012-01-26T19:42:00.000Z

Having made it to the last 2 for final interview with a major built asset management consultancy the aforementioned lurgy meant I had to cry off. The headhunter was lining up another date but instead came back with the news it looks like they're going to offer the other candidate the job as they want to make a decision by the end of this month. So much for thinking it was 50:50.... Anyway, I'm taking it on the chin and being pragmatic... the Middle East has rubbed off on me as I tend to now see stuff as 'Inshallah'. Much as I could have done the job, it was a good step in terms of career and more dosh, it wasn't 100% what I wanted to do.....more manpower planning and strategy and I'm definitely an operations girlie nowadays.... Not sure I would've have fitted in here ->

Being of strong Northern stock

2012-01-24T21:43:00.005Z

I tend to drag myself to work no matter what but when I woke up today simply couldn't open my eyes...well just the left one actually. When I did drag myself to the mirror I was greeted by a worse than usual image...my left eye had swollen and looked like I'd done a couple of rounds with a heavyweight. Quite clearly it wasn't going to disappear without some treatment so I headed to the Doctors. Quick diagnosis...cyst under the eyelid and a scribbled prescription later he was about to boot me out of the door when I said, "and while I'm hear can you listen to my chest as I was really breathless last week"....bronchitis! And there was me feeling like a right wuss last Thursday!

No BAFTAs

2012-01-19T22:14:00.011Z

but I have had great fun being in character for the last couple of days. In the preceding couple of days I'd been given a briefing document about my 'persona' as well as a heap of background reading on Irish Travellers, illegal immigrant fruit pickers, Hare Coursing and Animal Rights Groups etc. My orders were to stick to the storyline, be as realistic as possible, but embellish as needed (providing I didn't take things too far!). To ensure things were not too rigid, further instructions were sent periodically by text. I'm not permitted to divulge the full programme for the two days but let's just say that it involved being picked up and guarded by eight strapping booted and suited guys in central Birmingham (bystanders obviously wondering which minor Celeb I might be); being accosted by a reporter hungry for a story re. my pro-blood sports stance like some sort of heinous political activist (whilst passers by took photographs on their phones); and culminating in being shot at in a remote Herefordshire orchard....upon which I realised how seriously unfit I was as one of the guys offered to sling me over his shoulder when I clearly did not scarper quickly enough (even though my chest felt like it was about to explode from the exertion)!!

2012-01-18T07:06:00.003Z

For the next 48hrs I am a Pikie scrap metal merchant employing illegal aliens and passing my spare time hare coursing!!

No comments please...it's role play for the Close Protection training course.. I somehow doubt it'll get me my Equity card for 'Snatch 2' with Brad Pitt

AS revision time

2012-01-15T17:35:00.008Z

has been seriously sent off-track due to this mothers bad influence. It is not enough for Miss Sensible to try to juggle her AS levels, a part-time job, horse riding and playing sax...due to having been indoctrinated by my ipod catalogue she and a couple of her friends are also trying to perfect a lost art....that of being able to recite the lyrics of the entire 12" version of 'Rappers Delight'....Oh how my misspent youth has come back to haunt me, but it was great fun singing along with her in the car the other night:

"I said a hip hop the hippie the hippie to the hip hip hop, a you don't stop the rock it,

to the bang bang boogie say up jumped the boogie to the rhythm of the boogie, the beat,

now what you hear is not a test - I'm rapping to the beat and me, the groove, and my friends are gonna try to move your feet..."

I can guarantee anyone of a certain age reading this will now have that tune circulating in their head on a loop for the next couple of days... :o)

Our people are our greatest asset....

2012-01-12T23:31:00.004Z

and sometimes a bit of a liability...

Case 1

A chap we deployed to hostile environment tested positive for drugs immediately upon arrival. In the ensuing conversation he informed the medic he had been for dental treatment the day of his flight and was given Valium as a relaxant. Unusual practise but I'm no expert, so we asked for the confirmation to corroborate this and a covering letter was duly sent from a dentist...but not the one he had stated he had visited. Adopting the mantle of Mr. Sherlock Holmes I was just about to start to look into this further when the aforementioned employee handed in his noticed and 'fessed up....resulting in him boarding the next flight home. Slightly ironic really as he alleges he took the Valium as he doesn't like flying!

Case 2

Panic phone call from the office manager in Dubai. One of our female employees had got drunk and caused a disturbance, resulting in her being thrown in the Clink. By the time the Office Manager had got the call from the girl who'd been detained they'd already moved her to another Police Station and no one would say anything other than she'd be held until a Court date was arranged! The detainees passport was obtained and provided to the police station as a form of guarantee but they still wouldn't release her and by this point the Dubai end is in a right flap, so I consulted Rallyman as I was way out of my depth. He explained the usual process and asked all the relevant questions only for him to pronounce that the only reason the employee is probably still in the Nick is that she's non-European...his take is she got became inebriated, someone perchance thought she was a hooker, or made a remark…..she told them where to get off or threw a drink at them... Anyway, current state of play is that we've been assured the release paperwork will be done at some point tonight but she's still languishing in a cell as I type... Probably won't be doing that again in a hurry...

I wonder if my bordeom threshold has been lowered

2012-01-04T21:57:00.008Z

as a result of this job. Perhaps I'd be bored if I did something 'normal' now.

In the meantime I mistakenly volunteered to role play a Client for the Close Protection training course and got this message...

1. You will be picked up by a Close Protection team at a major train station between 1230 – 1330Hrs Wednesday 18th January 2012.

2. You are requested to be dressed in smart business attire, carrying a suitcase please.

3. You will be accommodated in a hotel for night after several “twists and turns” in the scenario.

4. You are requested to take a short swim the following morning at the hotel. (Swimming attire required please)

5. The second day will again see you in smart business attire for more scenarios.

6. After this, you are requested to dress down (i.e. clothing to facilitate a walk around town/walk across some fields), please note we are close to the Welsh border so we can experience all three seasons in one day! (Outdoor clothing required please).

7. The scenarios will culminate with a rapid extraction back to the team vehicles due to a 'shooting incident', the exercise will finish

I will contact you again next week with further details & background reading for the role

Not sure what worries me most; the 'twists & turns', 'shooting incident', or wearing swimming attire in front of 20 Squaddies!!!

Resistence is futile

2012-01-03T18:47:00.003Z

there appears to be not one iota of healthy food in this house... how did we accumulate so much chocolate, cake and pudding!?!? I've been working from home today and each time I have ventured to make a cuppa the temptation has seriously tested my willpower...

There's Stollen, Liebeskuchen, Florentines, gingerbread cake, mince pies, shortbread, enormous lollipops, chocolate reindeer, and huge tubes of jellybeans. Looks like we're trying to audition for a set in Willie Wonka.

Navel gazing

2012-01-01T23:42:00.009Z

over last year, I didn't do a particularly good job at living by the philosophy I espoused this time last year instead of a New Year's resolution.... Those of you who know me well have heard first hand exactly where I fell short, and have patiently listened to my rants or mopped up tears when required, for which I am eternally grateful...

I am blessed with wonderful friends.

Methinks I am too old to put up with some of the absolute piffle (to put it mildly) I have dealt with this last year. It's also about time I finally shed myself of the 'could do better' phrase which has haunted me since school report days ;o)

Stand by your beds...I mean business...

And the award for best critque of the year goes to

2011-12-31T12:05:00.010Z

Michael Deacon for his review of 'Great Expectations' in the Daily Telegraph...

"I rather lost faith in this adaptation the moment it introduced us to the full-grown Pip. Having entered the pupa of adolescence as a scowling urchin, he emerged as an androgynous heart-throb with a boy-band fringe, exquisitely shaped eyebrows, and skin of aftershave-advert purity. For some reason I can't quite put my finger on, it was difficult to believe in this pouting beauty as a Victorian blacksmith's apprentice."

That said, I still very much enjoyed the series and thought Gillian Anderson played Miss Havisham to a 't'.

Beware inadvertently starting a tradition

2011-12-23T21:08:00.015Z

as it will haunt you forevermore. Young Blood has announced she will be home over Chrimble and the next statement was, "you will have made shortbread, won't you...?"

So instead of collapsing in a heap following finishing work, it was a case of 'get thee to the kitchen wench'... gingerbread cake successfully completed, mulled wine vat on the stove replenished, onto the shortbreads...

In case you're wondering, I dunno why I do 'festive' pigs... just become a habit...

Fortified with porridge

2011-12-22T22:07:00.015Z

I headed to London for the last time this year to give the MD a fairly 'frank & factual' assessment of my significantly depleted teams' capacity to deliver all that is continually being asked of us including; dealing with a fairly major spike in resignations, staffing new contracts and preparing bids for prospective business. Having stressed the level of cuts we'd endured, highlighted the workload, and pointed out that something might have to 'give' before we all fell over, I half wondered if I'd find my P45 in the Secret Santa that afternoon, but it seems I will live to receive another bank giro credit by the looks of things.

Today's new experience

2011-12-20T22:37:00.009Z

has been seeking a potential alternative Mental Health Evaluation supplier. Although I am qualified in the use of psychometrics, I'm no psychologist so have had to learn enough about the ten main personality disorders, and mental/emotional/behavioural facets scales, as well as narcotic, addictive, mild-altering and/or psychoactive medications so that I can conduct a vaguely credible discussion about what is needed. As I read up on this stuff it makes me start to wonder where I'd come out against the 'norm group' if I ever took the test.... Scary thought....

Absolutely no shenanigans involved

2011-12-13T17:14:00.008Z

but I have managed to catch the Middle Eastern Correspondent's dreaded lurgy. All normal remedies have been ineffective and the household became sick of hearing me coughing my guts up so an alternative approach to shutting mother up was sought.... and therein lay my downfall... Mawsons Dandelion and Burdock...I have become addicted to a herbal drink made using genuine extracts of Dandelion and Burdock roots once used in medicine for their cleansing and diuretic properties. Might not have cured the hacking cough but it's the best discovery I've made in a long time.

He may well have a bus pass but

2011-12-09T08:29:00.005Z

David Coverdale's still definitely got 'it'! The Middle Eastern Correspondent (with whom I had watched Rock videos with many, many moons ago) very kindly presented me a ticket to see 'Whitesnake' on their final gig of their 'Forevermore' World tour. They were superb...a compete throw-back to the '70s & '80s. Long flowing manes of hair, sprayed on jeans, shirts open to the navel, copious silver chains and studs, accompanied by posturing, and baton twirling of the microphone stand. A total cliché but brilliant none the less. We had a fab night resulting in a loss of voice undoubtedly due to singing along somewhat too enthusiastically.

An evening in the company of

2011-12-02T23:58:00.001Z

Simon, Nick, Roger and John (swoon) aka Duran Duran, playing in their home town of Brum! Superb gig. Mr. le Bon worked the crowd into a fenzy and the set list took in all the favourites; Planet Earth, View to a Kill, Come Undone, Reflex, Wild Boys, Careless Memories, Rio, Ordinary World and an amazing segway from Notorious to Relax which I know will be buzzing around my brain for the next week. Can hardly believe I first saw them almost 30 years ago to the day on their inaugural tour at the Empire in Liverpool...it's got to be said, they've aged well both in terms of performance and looks!

Settling into the new abode

2011-11-24T18:58:00.003Z

So far so good re. tummy. I have eaten some very strange things but it's holding up, or at least in ;o)

Just as I started to think I was acclimatised when I was I was pulled up short. As I was crossing the compound earlier after lunch half a dozen Iraqi Close Protection guys came charging towards me kitted out in their flack jackets, helmets and totting AK47s...

Was about to start to panic then realised they were smiling.....

it was a training drill!!!!

2011-11-23T13:54:00.008Z

Reached base camp on Sunday and already feel part of the fixtures and fittings. Quite like being here if you put aside the hostile environment issues. They're a great bunch, excellent sense of humour (mostly black! :o) and there's a fab work ethos.

Board and lodgings are perfectly ok....not quite sure what I'm eating half the time as things frequently look like they should be props or aliens in Dr. Who, but they taste ok and I had a superb cup of Arabic coffee with cardamon this morning, won't have helped the insomnia but was lovely.

Last night, I worked til just before 10pm and went back to the villa where I’m staying only to find I’d been locked out as they’d all already gone to bed and forgot to check I was in. I had visions of having to bunk in with the guards and sundry strays but I phoned one of the guys who'd fortunately not yet gone asleep so kindly let me in!

Sleep deprivation's the biggest issue here, if it's not low flying helicopters, it's the guard change, local feral cats fighting or the muezzin reciting the 5am call to prayer from the local Mosque...still, it reminds you where you are :o)

The Eagle has Landed

2011-11-20T13:52:00.006Z

spent an hour at Baghdad immigration, been picked up by close protection team and travelled the infamous Route Irish to her temporary abode kitted out in very fetching body armour and an over-sized helmet which wibbled round on her head prompting the thought that it probably wouldn't be much kop in an emergency, and at best would probably result a headache and 'helmet head'. Now immersed in Gantt charts and redundancy selection criteria so pretty well the 'same old' despite the surroundings...

Off to play in the sandpit again tomorrow

2011-11-18T20:09:00.003Z

This trip's been on and off more times than I can count, and with the destination changing from Baghdad to Basra, to Baghdad and Basra which couldn't be organised due to internal flight availability resulting in the suggestion of a road move between the two....which I less than politely declined as 6 hours each way across potentially IED strewn areas seemed too much like Russian Roulette to me! So then it was suggested I drive to Heathrow and travel via Oman which would be 3hrs in the car to add to a missed nights sleep, and the same palaver on the way home...so at that point I lost it!! Upshot = Baghdad return! Sigh of relief....

2011-11-17T23:53:00.018Z

When the Victorians built the somewhat grandiose Cheltenham Town Hall little did they know that the Balls & Concerts they had planned for the venue would one day be replaced with a healthy Stand-up circuit.

Stinkysox & I went to see Ed Byrne's 'Crowd Pleaser' tour and it lived up to it's name exceptionally well. He covered a huge range of subjects from being a nerd (pointing out his name is an anagram of "be nerdy") and a rant about drunk particle physicists (of all things), before observing mankind's treatment of our fellow man, as opposed to cats. He chatted animatedly about the trials of dealing with his wife's 'pregnancy brain' and joys of parenting which included hilarious observations about projectile pooing, and why he gets frowned at when he burps yet his son gets applause....Maybe I have spent too much time in the company of scientists, engineers and other mothers but it all resonated with me & I spent most of his routine dissolved in tears of laughter.

2011-11-06T19:14:00.005Z

Whilst at check-in at the airport heading back to the UK, it suddenly struck me I need to go to Iraq next week and I don't have enough blank pages in my passport. To enter what was once called Babylon, one needs a minimum of 3 empty sheets, and as I'm transiting Dubai yet again which prompts a visa stamp, that's one page gone before I even head across the Gulf in the vague direction of Baghdad. As a result I'll be heading up to Liverpool on tomorrow with a completed application form and piccies in my sticky mitt in order to get a new passport rather than risk hitting Baghdad International Airport and being denied entry!!

Much as every girl wants to be front page news, perhaps that's not the best route to fame! ;o)

'Young Blood'

2011-11-05T21:53:00.000Z

as she appears to have been nick-named by the Middle Eastern Correspondent, experienced a less than favourable trip back spending most of it in the bog chucking her guts up. As the dutiful mother I am, I spent the same amount of time standing patiently outside the convenience ensuring she didn't pass out etc. and forgoing the delights of airline food on the basis that the sight and smell would send her off to the smallest room yet again.

I am pleased to report that she made a full recovery as soon as we hit Brum and promptly demanded fish & chips. The Middle Eastern Correspondent is under the impression she needs tutoring in the dark art of drinking and has offered himself as holder of 4 Masters in said subject, as well as Rallyman as his Research Assistant.

Ironically we have spent most of this morning discussing Masters but not of that variety :o) The debate is whether she applies for a course in Human Rights & Genocide, and if spending that much extra dosh is likely to actually result in a job in a field she's interested in...

Double Acts in Dubai

2011-11-04T23:41:00.007Z

As a result of clocking up a whole heap of air miles I eventually had sufficient to actually utilise some of them to book a couple of flights for myself and the Strident Student (who is no longer a student but in search of a new moniker).

We stayed at the Sofitel in Jumeirah and had a lovely couple of days mostly just lounging by the pool but with a brief bit of sight-seeing, culminating with dinner with another Double Act; The Middle Eastern Correspondent and his partner in crime, Rallyman. The plan had been to do so much more but Young Blood was seeking Arabic Culture which Rallyman believes is an oxymoron; informing us that anything of interest was demolished 30 years ago and the Emirate is now "Las Vegas without the fun".

History repeating itself...

2011-10-26T18:29:00.005+01:00

The return of Miss Sensible from Poland last night meant a late night whilst she told me about the trip in great detail.

She loved Krakow (into architecture like her Mum), but was predominantly keen to discuss what she'd learnt from the guide at Auschwitz-Birkenau, recounting all kinds of facts which I'd been previously unaware of and making me realise more than ever what a terrible place it had been, the horrors of war and the danger of tolerating Dictators.

Seems ironic that the trips of the last few days have been centred around various conflicts when the news is still full of the demise of Gaddafi. Makes you realise how little we learn from history.

Ferry 'cross the Mersey

2011-10-25T23:07:00.008+01:00

I spent many a Sunday morning of my childhood in the care of my Granddad pootling over to Seacombe and Woodside after one of his burnt offerings, aka a 'cooked breakfast', to keep me and my cousins from under my Gannie's feet.

It was great to see how much the Pier Head and surrounding areas have been 'tarted up'. Although I pop back regularly, the last time I spent much time in Liverpool was in 2008 when it was City of Culture, and I dragged the kids around the Maritime and Slavery Museum in an attempt to broaden their education. Needless to say it left such a lasting impression, Minor Mayhem can't remember a thing.

The Ferry has gone upmarket, with a running commentary about Liverpool's waterfront and many of the key landmarks on the Wirral, and of course serenading the passengers with Gerry & the Pacemakers at key points.

Apart from quenching my bout of nostalgia, we'd taken the trip to visit an attraction telling the story of World War II German submarine U-534. It's a superb set-up which enables you to not only grasp the scale of the vessel, but to see into the cross-sectioned submarine and view many of the items which were recovered from the wreck including food, records, medical equipment, 2 Enigma machines and the highly advanced T11 Torpedoes which were state of the art for their time as they had acoustic homing systems which were developed as a countermeasure to the British decoy system. The weapons were so sophisticated they were thought to be the reason for captain's refusal to surrender and the vessel subsequently being bombed.

Soujourn to Salford Quays

2011-10-24T22:31:00.006+01:00

It's half term and the middle one is off on a school trip which left Minor Mayhem kicking his heels and in need of distraction from the X-box. Seemed an ideal point to drag him up to the grim North to learn more of his parental origins. First stop was Salford Quays which looks very different from the run down area I used to drive through on my way to work and college. After the Manchester docks were closed there was a massive amount of investment pumped into the place resulting in one of the largest urban regeneration projects in the UK.

We visited the Lowry Centre to see some of the man himself's pieces, and to peruse the works of Valette that are on exhibition at the moment. I love many of the Impressionists work and his particular brand captured the atmospheric mood of the streets, shrouded in fog & polution and yet somehow invoked a sense of romanticism. Very different from the works of Lowry for whom he was said to have been a great influence.

The trade off for hours in an art gallery with a 13yr old 'Kevin' was to spend the afternoon at the Imperial War Museum of the North, viewing everything imaginable from various conflicts from the First World War onwards, and subsequently suffer the entire journey back discussing the rules of engagement, origins of the Irish Troubles, and ethics of using certain types of weapons!!!! Talk about testing...I readily admit I'm pretty flaky on the Cold War & Vietnam, but do know a bit about Ireland as I'm of Irish descent and spent time in Belfast during the 80s. However...

Q: is Semtex the same as C4? ....required 'phone a friend'

A: Both putty (plastic) explosives but properties are different. Both 'very' effective if you want to demolish something....or so I am reliably told!!

Half a dozen applications later

2011-10-16T10:40:00.009+01:00

Miss Sensible finally secured a job. This may seem fairly inconsequential, however having seen the on-line application process for Waitrose, and been de-briefed on the interview and assessment event, I am both horrified and impressed with the selection process for a 15 hour contract. It certainly proved that the company take their hiring seriously, and many other companies could learn a thing or two about the rigor involved and the level of professionalism. This didn't just extend to the recruitment process, as yesterday she spent 8 hours being indoctrinated in the Partnership values, trained on Health & Safety, and presented with copious amounts of material about the organisation with which to further her familiarisation, as well as receiving her pristine uniform ready for taking on the real job this coming week. All this to earn a bit of dosh to save towards a car, and hopefully have the option of a student transfer when she makes the move to Uni!

Bad outbreak of pork-pie hats,

2011-10-11T23:17:00.002+01:00

2-Tone braces, Fred Perry shirts, Doc Martens et al, at a Specials gig in Wolverhampton last night. The audience were whipped up into a frenzy by a montage of images of key events from the 1970s to date, including politicians of the day which prompted wild cheers and booing. The Specials were superb and ran through what seemed to be most of their back catalogue such as Gangsters, Rat Race, Message to You Rudy, Ghost Town etc. proving you can’t beat a bit of Ska. Further entertainment value was gained from watching a load of middle-aged blokes 'dance' and shout out for the "rude boys" including a chap who was the spitting image of Buster Bloodvessel (Bad Manners - "Lip Up Fatty") plus about 100 other blokes who looked very similar bouncing their beer guts in very close proximity to me in the mosh pit - not the prettiest sight!

Joining the ranks of "Smuggly Marrieds"

2011-09-30T23:58:00.010+01:00

as Bridget Jones would describe the act, were the career bachelor 'Corkie', and his good lady Emma. They had a beautiful intimate Wedding ceremony held in the Chancel at Tewkesbury Abbey. It was made even more special in my mind by having the Cantate Choir, with whom Emma sings, perform 'Ave Maria' during the signing of the register and then hearing the organ boom out the 'Toccata' by Widor as they left the Abbey...I love the emotion of that piece and to hear it in played so beautifully in that environment, was sublime. There was Champagne and photographs in the sunshine against the backdrop of the stunning grounds of Dumbleton Hall, followed by a sumptuous wedding breakfast and evening reception. The weather couldn't have been better and it was lovely to be surrounded by friends and have been part of such a genuinely joyous event.

ps. spot the confirmed romantic ;o)

Where the heck's Djibouti?

2011-09-27T19:12:00.007+01:00

came the cry....

Out with the maps yet again....

There's been some interest in maritime security which has necessitated reading up about ship security officer training and locating all kinds of places I'd never heard of which have now turned out to be close to Somalia and the pesky pirates. I think this is one potential site visit I might give a miss.

Therapy of the retail variety

2011-09-20T20:13:00.008+01:00

especially shoes....works every time for me!

Highly impractical colour and inappropriate for this season but I needed something to make this week feel slightly brighter and it's only Tuesday....plus the weathermen say we're in for a late Indian summer....

Bereavement notification

2011-09-19T21:44:00.006+01:00

was about the last thing I ever thought I would be adding to my training portfolio, but given the nature of the business there's a reasonable possibility I might be given the task of dealing with the outcome of an incident and therefore best be prepared.

A couple of colleagues and I attended a very thought provoking session presented by an ex- Policeman who has been involved in dealing with incidents as diverse as the Marchioness tragedy, Paddington rail crash, London bombings, and Asian Tsunami. He was an excellent trainer and covered everything from the practical issues, the role of the Coroner, repatriation, as well as debating some of the cultural and religious considerations.

I hope to God I never need to put any of what I have learnt into action, but after a days education feel far more aware and prepared for whatever might come my way.

Gnashing of teeth...

2011-09-16T16:18:00.021+01:00

I'm having one of those days where I feel like I'm trying to put a jig-saw puzzle together but don't have all the bits or the lid to refer to.

I love this job but I can't be doing with office politics or dysfunctional behaviour....it's way too trying at times...

As a blunt northerner maybe I'm just not cut out for working in a large multi-national..?

Patan

2011-09-09T18:36:00.002+01:00

In the afternoon we ventured to Patan which is on the southern side of the Bagmati River, and one of 3 royal cities in the valley. Patan is an amazing place filled with wood and stone carvings, statues, ornate architecture, including dozens of Buddhist and Hindu temples, and over a thousand monuments. Kings were crowned in one of the temples in ancient times and standing in such an unspoilt area you can almost imagine the scene.

It was fantastic to be able to visit such a fabulous place and be given a tutorial on the history and politics of the country from local inhabitants but sobering to hear that the beautiful carved water pipes in the photograph are the source of water for the vast majority of the local population and can carry Cholera as there is none of the infrastructure or sanitation we take for granted.

2011-09-09T18:15:00.003+01:00

I was lucky enough to have some time to do some sight-seeing so my hosts took me to Swayambhunath Stupa the most ancient of the holy shrines in Kathmandu valley. Although considered a Buddhist temple, the place is revered by both Buddhists and Hindus. There are 365 steps up to the main platform of the temple hence this magnificent view!

Swayambhunath Stupa is also known as the Monkey Temple as there are monkeys living in parts of the temple - they are considered are holy because Manjushree, the bodhisattva of wisdom and learning was raising the hill which the Temple stands on. He was supposed to leave his hair short but he allowed it to grow long and caught head lice. It is said that the head lice had transformed into these monkeys.

Although teaming with visitors there is a serene and peaceful atmosphere which is difficult to describe. Maybe it's just the fact that the area is a mass of small shrines with statues of deities, prayer wheels and Buddhist monks but you can feel the sense of belief around you.

2011-09-08T21:15:00.022+01:00

Last night my hosts very kindly took me to an authentic Nepalese restaurant for a special banquet. The restaurant is called "Bhojan Griha", which I am told means Nepali Kitchen. The place is superb; a very colonial looking building over 150 years old which once belonged to the priests of the King of Nepal. The seating is traditional i.e. cushions on the floor which had I known I might have opted for trousers instead of a frock (and spending most of the evening hoping no one could see my knickers!).

It was to be yet another occasion when I had no idea what I was eating apart from Wild Boar which was highlighted as a local delicacy, but everything was absolutely delicious. I was also introduced to Raksi which is a traditional very strong Nepali rice wine which I was told was the perfect antidote to the streaming cold I'd managed to develop.

But the main reason to take me to Bhojan Griha was to see the famous Nepali cultural dance & costumes, representing various regions of the country, hear the traditional musicians and learn about the folklore on which they were based.

The Yeti Yeukies

2011-09-07T22:07:00.004+01:00

are quite commonly to be expected by intrepid explorers who venture into Yetiland and swift access to toilet facilities of any type whatsoever is often a prerequisite, but frequently unobtainable necessity.

Not what you need when you've still got a couple of days to go and various meetings to get through!

Gritting teeth and tightening one's rear....

Meeting with tea and no biscuits

2011-09-07T16:00:00.003+01:00

When you’re travelling such a distance you have to make sure your time is productive so in order to help out the Travel Manager who is currently undertaking a survey of all of our travel suppliers, I agreed to visit the travel agency we use in Kathmandu and gather some information.

Not being an expert in this flights, carriers, etc. I was decidedly apprehensive but I needn’t have worried. The Directors of the company were warm and welcoming and all of the company employees stood and greeted me with a "Namaste". I felt really humbled. In fact the most difficult part of the meeting was when I was brought a cup of tea. Throughout the trip I have had the usual Masala chai which I actually enjoy so I was surprised to be passed a milky tea…even more so when it turned out to be made with coconut milk....really thick and sweet...not at all what I'd been expecting, but I did the dutiful bit and drank it...not something I want to repeat!!

Greetings from Hotel Himalaya

2011-09-06T22:05:00.008+01:00

Made it after a debacle involving 48hrs without sleep and lost/ absent colleagues. One pulled out at the last minute before boarding in the UK due to an ear infection. (As he's the custodian of the contract, that’s left me in the interesting position of having to negotiate with the Nepalese supplier who wants a 70% increase, and undoubtedly doesn’t hold much truck with women in business.)

My other colleague from Afghanistan was nowhere to be found at Terminal 2 Dubai which left me in a slight tizz but fortunately it turned out he was in the wrong bit of the airport, so materialised on the aircraft albeit the last to board...At least that meant I could breathe a small sigh of relief.

Kathmandu airport was as chaotic as last time but good entertainment value, as was the drive to the hotel - this place comes second only to Kabul in terms of traffic and a lack of road sense/rules!

On the off-chance, dear reader, you are wondering why I am in Nepal when the Army is laying off so many Gurkhas…unfortunately UK Gurkhas expect UK wages, unlike their Nepalese and Indian counterparts.

Moving the goal posts

2011-08-27T19:51:00.003+01:00

Following further conversations with the headhunter & recruiting Director I'm feeling less inclined towards option 3 (see 'There must be easier ways to earn a living' below). The role has changed since I first started talking to them and they've now mentioned the rationale for the trip to Kuwait and Abu Dhabi is to meet their key stakeholders but also to assist with adding more granularity to the role.... I'm somewhat unimpressed as in my book that looks like they don't know what they want, and I'm doing a bit of free consultancy to help them define it. So I take two days of precious leave AND lose a weekend to attend 2 days of full-on meetings where I get put through the wringer...

Starting to feel they're taking the proverbial...

New Pony

2011-08-26T19:09:00.006+01:00

same old scene...

This years Nag is 'Bugsy'.

The pair coming a respectable 2nd overall and winning 'best turned out'.

Clever clogs

2011-08-25T21:43:00.002+01:00

D-day found me banished to the car waiting on tenterhooks until Miss Sensible spared my misery and informed me she'd achieved 5 A* and 6 A's...to add to the 2 A*s and 1 A she got last year! So she's out-performed us all to date! In the words of her sister's congratulations card:

"Can you stop being so brilliant please, you're showing the rest of us up"

No pressure on Minor Meyhem then ;o)

There must be easier ways to earn a living...

2011-08-22T21:48:00.009+01:00

This job is burning me out. The last fortnight has been hell on wheels as we're doing business as usual in terms of recruitment and mobilisation of new projects but with a team that's now 1/3rd smaller, and I'm also managing a redundancy programme with staff who know very little about the process or legalities, as well as covering for my boss. I like a challenge but this is quite frankly ridiculous and, after yet another 15 hours day, I see no sign of it letting up. I've not really managed to actually start looking for something else but am in the fortunate position of having been approached about a few things:

a local-ish role with nerdy scientists & engineers and I've seen it, done it, so could get boring
a deputy HR Director role with a competitor based in Dubai
a Head of Resourcing role with a large organisation based in the UK but expanding into the Middle East. Been asked if I will go to meet their management in Kuwait and Dubai for a couple of days next month so I can see if I'm interested.

So I need to have a think about stuff and at least knock them on the head so that they stop flying round it my brain with all the other rubbish that's keeping me awake at the moment.

"Courgette? In Cake!?!??!"

2011-08-20T19:21:00.008+01:00

"Seriously? How in gods name can you manage to pull of courgette in a cake? Hot Damn..." said my son on receiving a doggy bag of goodies from the wonderful Lou-la-belle
"Did you eat it before your Mum told you? Did you like?" she asked
"Sehr Gut!!! :D - I was totally surprised though...By the way, can you make a cake for my Birthday please?! :o) " he enthusiastically asked, usurping me from my position as Chief Cake Baker
"I would love to make a cake for you! You'll have to let me know what flavour or do you want another surprise? ;o) ", she replied.
"As long as it isn't... (*shudders*) healthy... ;o) ", came the response.
I've discovered an alternative method of getting them to consume their 5 a day it seems....

Rendezvous

2011-08-13T18:43:00.006+01:00

Time: 1630hrs

Date: Sunday 14th August 2011.

Location: Tibshelf Services

Mission: Interview a chap named after a renowned actor.

Unfortunately I am reliably informed he looks nothing like said film star. He has stated he will be wearing a tan sports jacket which somewhat suggests he is not the sort of chap I am likely to want to pull. I am however informed he's a dab hand at repatriation of bodies, bereavement counselling, and medical evacuation, as well as preparation of reports for the coroners office which is probably exactly what I'm looking for in a man at this particular moment in time...oh how my 'wish list' has changed ;o) and probably more worryingly I am now meeting strange men at obscure locations, over my weekend in order to fill vacancies.

Train spotting

2011-08-09T06:59:00.008+01:00

Thorough review of timetables, and routings required over the next fortnight as the trains are suspended on the Cotswold bit of the line due to engineering works.

Planning ahead I looked at the replacement bus service timetable and completely fried my brain...If I used that I'd more or less need to turn around and go back as soon as I got into the office so that was a non-starter.

Working from home wasn't an option either due to acting as HR Director...needed to be in the office to crack the whip (metaphorically speaking of course).

One of the guys in my team kindly offered to put me up then take me into work with him on his whopping great BMW bike...gulp!!! Much as it meant I'd get to put my arms around a hunky Paratrooper, I opted to drive up to Birmingham International and go in via Euston. All went according to plan until the rioters disrupted the Tube resulting in me getting home at 9.40pm.

A queue outside the office door

2011-08-03T22:17:00.005+01:00

when you get in should give a sense of foreboding for the rest of the day...

Three people needing to speak to me about various issues, plus a letter relating to an employment tribunal claim on the grounds of Unfair Dismissal and Sexual Discrimination, on top of the resignation of one of the HR specialists...all before 10.30am!!!

The rest of the day went like this; meeting with Gurkha Major re. staff issues; telecom re. staffing for a major event; discussion with a psychologist about mental health evaluation tools; disciplinary meeting which resulted in written warning, a chat with our lawyer re. the potential employment tribunal case and a summons from the MD to provide a sit rep on the redundancy programme.....

"The first cut is the deepest"

2011-08-01T23:20:00.009+01:00

as the song goes...but apparently it wasn't enough.

Back from leave and straight into redundancy round II !!!

So with 1/3rd less in my team we're now trying to juggle work as usual with managing the exit of 15 people in the midst of the holiday period. It's been an absolutely 'pants' day spent telling people they're about to lose their jobs.

2011-07-31T19:25:00.005+01:00

Back from a lovely chilled break on the Bozburun Peninsula which is still relatively undeveloped...little or no apparent impact from tourism with plenty of small villages to explore and quiet coves. It's simply the perfect place to recharge your batteries. Just what the doctor ordered!

New moniker required

2011-07-18T23:19:00.005+01:00

the strident student is no more, having graduated from the Steel City yesterday.

Maybe she could now be called the gobby graduate ;o)

I'm pleased to report that she will not be joining the ranks of the great unemployed but taking up a post on a management training scheme and joining the rest of us in 'real life'.

Going to need to apply for a new passport at this rate

2011-07-11T13:32:00.011+01:00

Yet another trip to Dubai, this time staying at the Four Points Sheraton on Sheikh Zayed Road. The pic says it all....

If you like living in the equivalent of Madonna's 'Speed of Light' video it's the perfect place for you.

Just when you think you're making some headway

2011-07-01T21:30:00.006+01:00

some bugger pulls the rug from under your feet.

Having finally got a team together who are a good balance of skills and capabilities, then started to review the policies and process we work to in order to be more efficient and effective, those on high decided that costs needed to be cut. Ergo I am back to the all to familiar situation of having to deal with redundancies but worse, in that it's that it's with my own team :o(

You shall go to the Ball

2011-06-30T22:12:00.007+01:00

Miss Sensible.

The end of GCSEs and official secondary school education does need some celebration after all.

I can't help saying she does scrub up rather well...when you can manage to get her out of jodhpurs :o)

With friends like this...

2011-06-12T22:23:00.005+01:00

...who needs enemies!

Thank you Ms. Cor-Blimey for reminding me how unruly my locks are!!!!! ;o)

This lovely lady will take pride of place on my desk along with the other wacky bits & pieces which were were presented to me by my erstwhile colleague as parting gifts...

Not quite sure why I deserved pressies...maybe it's for staying put in the face of adversity!?!

Mrs. Cor-Blimey will be very much missed by us all, but most of all by me for her profound knowledge, crazy sense of humour, psychic tendencies, telepathy, pragmatism and occasional bouts of Tourettes which made my working days fun & maintained my sanity. There's no longer anyone to help while away my journey with amusing anecdotes, or broaden my palate via new offerings on the breakfast run...

The office feels very empty...

Invite to Queenie's Birthday Bash

2011-06-12T09:47:00.008+01:00

One of the ex. Army chaps in my team very kindly managed to obtain a couple of tickets to the Queen's Birthday parade aka Trooping the Colour. Who could resist the opportunity to go to something as unique an occasion as that? Ms. Cor-Blimey and I duly accepted and yesterday I found myself on the even more ridiculous o'clock train down to London suitably attired in line with the formal dress code.

When we got to Horseguards Parade the place was buzzing with an atmosphere like a pop concert. There were gentlemen in morning suits, ladies with stunning outfits, and hats & fascinators which wouldn't have been out of place at Ascot, as well as Diplomats in their traditional dress. The parade itself was superb...faultless. I'm not really much of a Royalist but I couldn't help feeling very proud of our heritage.

2:52am so my alarm clock reckoned....

2011-06-09T15:25:00.009+01:00

when I was woken by something scampering around above my head then happily gnawing noisily. How am I supposed to sleep knowing that I've got something up there!?!

Pulled the quilt back over my head but....Nope! There's definitely something above me and I'm convinced it's in the loft space & not on the roof. Sounds somewhat bigger than a mouse too! So much so I kept wondering if it was going materialise through the ceiling at some point! Stayed where I was as I was too knackered to move and did eventually drop off again but dreamt of rodents taking over.

Having undertaken Hostile Environment Assessment Training, firearms and defensive driving training I should better equipped than most, but maybe I should ask our Specialist Training dept whether they run anything focused on dealing with Ninja Squirrels before I venture up there to repossess my loft….

Well it has been a month

2011-06-05T13:48:00.006+01:00

so someone obviously thought I might be getting withdrawal symptoms...hence it was off out to Dubai again last night. This time I sampled a new hotel - The Grand Hyatt and it has to be said this is my favourite so far...mainly down to the pool which I didn't actually manage to use, but did get to stroll around...

Ah the joys of business travel....Maybe one day I'll make it back there at some point without my laptop or work colleagues!

Inpromptu humanities lesson

2011-05-24T19:31:00.006+01:00

Mr. Double-Barralled one of my favourite recruitment consultants very kindly offered to take me to dinner last night. We had a fabulous Italian meal at a place right next door to Chelsea Barracks. Our waitor Tito (identifiable by his name badge) was questioned about his heritage by Mr. D-B and from there flowed a whole discussion on the Bosnian conflict, the history of Yugoslavia, the division of land, politics, and various different cultural aspects. Absolutely fascinating stuff. We were there until they shut the lights off just discussing the impact of the war. Yet again I realised how much life in the military teaches the recruits and consequently their perspectives are often far wider than Joe Public.

City Break

2011-05-16T20:48:00.009+01:00

to Bella Roma... one of the most magical cities on earth.

Had a superb time and walked my legs off: Trevi fountain, Spanish Steps, Forum & Palatino as well as the Colosseum.

One obviously needs a calorie intake to compensate for all that had been burnt off via the exercise so Pasta, Pizza, Gelato, Peroni & Campari were consumed in quantities... When in Rome & all that...

Traipsed further afield and into Vatican City to see the Pope's address but was stunned to find they wouldn't let me in St.Peter's Basilica... too much leg on show apparently...Methinks it was more a case of recognising a lapsed Catholic when they see one ;o)

Apologies for the break in communications

2011-05-13T21:17:00.006+01:00

I've been up to my neck with a variety of stuff and rather than whinge on-line I've just kept quiet. I must admit I didn't think anyone would notice as I haven't had any comments on the blog for ages...but apparently they do, and what's more seem to care what was happening (thank you Gillian!)

So herewith a brief synopsis of life in the last month or so...

Dad's condition took a turn for the worse. After having tumour removed from his lung last year (this is on top of previously having prostrate cancer and a heart attack), he was then diagnosed a degenerative form of bronchitis, only for him to develop pneumonia...hence I've spent time with them when I've had chance.

Work's been pretty pants too. I absolutely love the job but there's a stack of change at the moment which in an Alpha Male environment is a potent mix of testosterone and politics which frequently surprisingly results in 'handbags at dawn'...not what I expected from roughie toughie types but...

On top of that all three children have exams at the moment: Strident Student's finals...she's majorly stressed and in that vicious circle where she knows it's having an adverse effect on her concentration so is consequently worrying she won't get a 2:1...meanwhile Miss Sensible's quietly beavering away at her GCSEs, and Minor Mayhem is coasting through his year 8 exams.

So a few distractions from life as a Blogger...

This blog is starting to look like 'Hotels I have visited"...

2011-05-02T10:29:00.016+01:00

The Grand Millenium, Sheikh Zayed Road, Dubai...

again...

Didn't particularly like it the first time either...

'Gruntled'

2011-04-21T19:16:00.014+01:00

Andy Parson's tour stopped off at Cheltenham Town Hall this evening. I'd enjoyed the stuff he'd done as one of the main writers for 'Spitting Image' as well as 'Have I got news for you', 'Mock the Week' etc. but he's also excellent at stand-up...on stage for an hour & forty minutes and held the audience with a mix of everything from anecdotes (including a long story about a jar of Hellmann's Mayonnaise containing a pair of underpants (don't ask!), to political rants/musing.

Just like riding a bike...

2011-04-20T19:16:00.006+01:00

Donned my brand new jodhpurs and my old hard hat to head off to the stables this afternoon...first proper riding lesson for ¼ century…There have been various comments which we won't repeat about me being in the saddle again, and my lesson prompted an audience of half the kids at the stables due to its sheer novelty value, but nothing deterred me and I absolutely loved the session...

However it has to be said ’sore’ would be a major understatement…& I have a feeling it may even feel worse tomorrow!

Didn’t stop me booking the next one though!

2011-04-18T23:05:00.008+01:00

Got in to the office today to find that one of the female staff had made a formal complaint about a male colleague...he'd apparently put his hand on her shoulder a couple of times whilst he was talking to her and she deemed it 'inappropriate!' and had brought it to management's attention. Because it's been raised officially we can't just ignore it so had to do a formal investigation/interview/reprimand etc. The poor chap was genuinely bewildered about what he was supposed to have done and worried sick about how he was being perceived. After going through the process and then informing her it had been dealt with she said I didn't realise that it meant he would have to have the issue on his file. Sheeesh...! How can anyone be so unaware about the level of political correctness and the consequences of alleging sexual harassment nowadays!!!

New recruit AWOL

2011-04-12T18:09:00.014+01:00

We recruited a Canadian for a reasonably key post in Iraq. He had no knowledge of our business hence we brought him into the UK for a weeks induction. He did his stint in Head Office without incident and was booked to do Hostile Environment Awareness Training on Monday but never got to the location. The first I know is a call from one of the admin staff at the training centre asking where he was. The team rang his mobile, plus the hotel he’d been staying at in London...no answer.

The hotel confirmed he had not checked out so I asked my staff to go round to his hotel to see if he was ok in case he had fallen ill. Security let them into his room where they discovered his wallet, passport and mobile were all on the bed but no sign of him! Who goes out without any of those bits? All seemed really suspicious so seeing he is a foreigner as well as an employee the duty of care bit kicked in and we took the decision to alert the police and report a missing person.

Upshot is he materialised back at the London hotel considerably later, more than slightly inebriated...in fact barely standing and completely incoherent. The hotel kindly contacted us and we let the police know they could call off the search, as he was alive. We gave him chance to sober up but with the instruction to report in today for an interview with the police, and another with my deputy who is a 50yr old ex Para Sergeant Major...you really wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of that with a hangover!!

The story goes he'd apparently decided he did not see the necessity to have HEAT training so had 'entertained himself' for the day without bothering to discuss or apprise anyone of this decision. Needless to say he’s been terminated before even starting his job. Can't believe he's been so stupid. He's given up his previous job and now blown it with us before he's even really started. What's weird though is he thanked my colleague for his flight tickets home and said he was going to Buckingham Palace to take some snaps of the Changing of the Guard....Unbelievable...

Pipe dream

2011-04-11T23:17:00.004+01:00

According to Wikipedia,

A pipe dream is a fantastic hope or plan that is generally regarded as being nearly impossible to achieve, originating in the 19th century as an allusion to the dreams experienced by smokers of opium pipes.

Once upon a time when the threat of redundancy was hanging over me yet again at my previous employers, I mused what I might do with my pay-off and future. As a child I used to love going to Randolph's Cafe in St.Helens, and an ice cream parlour in Clayton Square, Liverpool which not only sold a multitude of flavours, cones, and toppings but also Belgian Waffles which were decidedly exotic in those days! I dreamed of opening a place which sold everything from Bourbon Vanilla, to Turkish Delight and anything in between. My vision went as far as interior design and clientele. Living in a tourist area with a high number of private schools on the doorstep I am only surprised no one else has stolen my plan.

So why has this idea come to the fore again? One of the aged parents & I took the younger Sprogletts to visit 'Antonios' in Billinge with it's selection of Lime & Liquorice, Lemon Meringue Cheesecake, Raspberry Ruffle, Blue Lagoon, & Bubble Gum ice creams. The whole concept of running somewhere like that still appeals massively... I love the idea of making people happy by providing such an array of delicious treats; for kids to have somewhere special where they can be indulged...

One day when I'm burnt out from this job I will retire and put on a pinny....

You know you've stayed somewhere too often when

2011-04-09T11:05:00.004+01:00

the hotel staff greet you by name!

So back In Dubai to do more interviewing...nature of this job means the candidates are somewhat geographically dispersed and whilst Skype is a good starter for 10, I certainly wouldn't consider making employment decisions on that basis.

Other than interviewing I met with our facilitator who is in the process of finalising the 'fit' for our new office on Sheikh Zayed Road which is opposite Dubai Marina, and next to the Jumeirah Islands. The place looks great and it'll be so nice to be able to interview somewhere other than a hotel foyer plus the views should be stunning!

As a lone female I think the Business Development Director and his girlfriend felt obliged to ask me to go out with them for the evening and I was trying to decide whether to be a gooseberry or stick with room service when one of our customers turned up - this naturally necessitated providing entertainment as part of a good client relationship management process so I didn't feel quite so much like a spare part!

It's funny how life works out...in the course of conversation with the larger than life American convoy client over dinner & numerous Long Island Iced Teas it turned out he needed a humongous crane. This brought to mind the Middle Eastern Correspondent's many tales of old about using cranes to drop swimming pools into the rich's gardens as opposed to knocking down walls or messing up gardens. So introductions to Rallyman were made and I am hopeful that the convoy guy's problem will now be solved :o)

Dining out

2011-04-02T22:37:00.002+01:00

I was invited to a business presentation and formal dinner by the recruitment consultant who previously took me to the RAC Club. This event was held at 'the Cavalry & Guards Club' on Piccadilly - again very much along the lines of an old fashion gentleman's club. Fab building and loads of artwork of soldiers, horses, battles etc.

Initially my colleague and I managed to get misdirected and ended up at a book launch for the first hour...an error which was a bit of a farce as it was bewildering and amusing in equal measure...I have no idea who on earth I was talking to, but whoever they were, they were interesting company and didn't seem to mind us gatecrashers quaffing their drinks.

In the end however, we found the correct location. The guest speaker was Stuart Tootal DSO OBE who'd led our Troops in Afghanistan before resigning on principle at the lack of basic equipment. Very interesting chap who conducted a presentation around military versus corporate leadership and the associated issues. It wasn't your usual management theory, but far more practical, dare I say it, common sense approaches, which he's successfully put into place in a corporate environment. You can easily see why he commanded so much respect but what I really liked about him was he wasn't arrogant, genuinely appears to believe in empowerment, and obviously has stacks of integrity....major bit that's missing from most people in senior positions from what I see.

Following the talk there was an 'open floor'. I'm always slightly intimidated by the fact that I've not got a military background, and feel like I'm the token female but couldn't help contributing the the ensuing debate and really enjoyed the evening which was rounded up by a very nice dinner.

I am now officially middle-aged

2011-03-27T14:22:00.006+01:00

Nope, you've not missed my birthday or any form of major event which might mark this occassion...I have just bought a set of professional cookware and am secretly quite chuffed with the purchase...

What has happened to me!?!

PANS!!!

...not shoes or frocks!?!?!

Surely this must be some alternative form of mid-life crisis when you covet household objects instead of a new outfit...

2011-03-26T09:58:00.003Z

Miss Sensible & her friend plus the World's most enormous rucksacks have now been deposited at school ready to climb into the minibus and head off to do their Bronze Duke of Edinburgh expedition. It looks like they'll have excellent weather to yomp round the Cotswolds with half a hundredweight of kit and a compass...not to mention copious amounts of Kendal Mintcake!! :o)

In case of emergency open here....

2011-03-25T23:24:00.005Z

it has been a somewhat trying week so in some respects I was not surprised to return to the office yesterday to find mrs. Cor-Blimey had left the pictured item on my desk (which I hasten to add was for the journey home!).

We've been dealing with some interesting stuff recently; she has a long-running complex, intertwined grievance and whistle-blowing case which has now got even more political and underhand...almost the stuff of those Corporate shenanigans you see on TV dramas; whilst my workload has included issues as diverse as how to deal with a member of staff who has had a boob job (funnily enough the company sickness policy doesn't cover this....possibly comes under the heading of aesthetics rather than illness), to changes in employment regulations in Fiji and the associated impact to the business. Some days it's enough to fry your brain!!

Travel broadens the mind

2011-03-17T23:15:00.007Z

in this instance via the Emirates Entertainment channel. Last trip it was the travels of Ibn Battuta the Medieval Moroccan Islamic Scholar and the account of his extensive 30 year travels, and this time I watched a fascinating series about the history of Russian art narrated by art critic Andrew Graham-Dixon who outlined how Russia changed from a feudal nation with aristocratic excess to a hotbed of revolution and demonstrating how in line with this art moved from being a servant of the state to an agent of its destruction. Really interesting and enlightening stuff.

The programmes covered everything from the beautiful work of Rublev the icon painter, through to gaudy Faberge eggs; and eventually to the abstract work of Kandinsky, as well as Mayakovsky and Alexander Rodchenko and the origins of art as a form of Communist advertising.

I loved seeing the Russian architecture too...particularly the Byzantine influences, the beautiful gleaming 'onion' domes and the later obsession with a kind of Baroque fusion...albeit the interiors with all the gold leaf were somewhat OTT for my taste!

Why the interest..? Combination of things....my Dad speaks Russian and in my childhood that always seemed quite exotic so prompted an initial curiosity...later on Russian history was brought to life by Miss Edmondson when I studied it for A Level history...how could you not have a fascination with 18th Century St. Petersburg!?! Another aspect of the coverage brought to mind schooldays too...due to 'cultural sensitivities' Emirates had taken steps to blur any elements of 'pert' or 'dangly' bits in the art work...memories of Sister Josephine (a retired nun), sitting in the sixth section of the school library happily taking a black marker pen or scissors to any 'inappropriate material' in the publications...ahhh those were the days...added an interesting & challenging dimension to studying A Level English Literature texts!!! Bless....

Three trips to the Middle East in the last 6 weeks!

2011-03-16T18:50:00.014Z

Feeling slightly frazzled. Barely got out of the hotel during the last two trips and have watched all the decent films on the flight so don't want to go anywhere until April now when they'll have refreshed the entertainment menu ;o)

Back to Blightly tomorrow...although it's been a flying visit it's been a productive trip by the looks of things... Made an offer for a key post which has been accepted, and also managed to hook up with a Dubai based recruitment consultancy which might come in handy at some point.

Other than that I've been sorting out other stuff long-distance and being driven mad by our business development guys who still bid for stuff without telling me....Has anyone got 160 Gurkhas lying around I can borrow…? Need them for a potential project we're bidding for in Iraq...Only just sorted out the Fijian fiasco and now this!?! May be forced to pinch a Gurkha's Kukris to wave menacingly at a few people...or perhaps even draw blood ;o)

Greetings

2011-03-11T06:37:00.003Z

from the 06.07hrs to London Paddington...calling at various quaint little stations throughout Worcestershire & the Cotswolds, taking forever and a day to reach it's final destination :o/

Long day ahead....roll on the weekend!

Bizarre or what...?

2011-03-10T20:32:00.003Z

Miss Sensible is one of those strange folk who is able to partially function whilst asleep. I can't tell you how scary it is to speak to someone who appears to exhibit all the signs of being in the land of nod and then opens their eyes and speaks, but isn't really 'with you'...!?!

Tonight she was tired after a hard days slog at school so went for a doze. I went to wake her for dinner and she looked at be with semi-focused eyes and said "Is that the wand?"....methinks a little too much Harry Potter has been imbued or perhaps Professor McGonagall has cast a spell....maybe she's actually really under the influence of the 'Imperius' curse...

Bowing to pressure

2011-03-07T21:31:00.004Z

I'm due to be away on business tomorrow and it's Shrove Tuesday hence I won't be home to make the ubiquitous pancakes. That constitutes a major disaster apparently!! Complaints ensued so I've now been on duty tonight instead making sufficient batter to provide the starving masses with copious amounts of crêpes.

The debate which reigns is always traditional lemon & sugar, less conventional maple syrup, or some more adventurous filling...?? We've had some interesting combinations over the years but if I were to print the details you'd think of me as a lesser mother so I will desist.

Thinking about it, choice of fillings says a whole heap about a person....could be a whole new form of personality profiling to add to my psychometric testing repertoire ;o)

One year ago to this very day

2011-03-03T19:25:00.004Z

I took up a new job and headed off to Afghanistan to learn about the organisation and ended being training on loading and firing an assortment of guns as well as doing some offensive and defensive driving in a B6 armoured vehicle. Hard to believe that's a whole 12 months ago as it's whizzed by so fast! This business is really something else....still as exciting and challenging as it first seemed...Today I've been dealing with stuff as diverse as security clearances, bid non-compliance and clinical governance, as well as doing a Skype interviews with an prospective Aviation Security Director based in Italy & a Logistics Director in Qatar....somehow doubt it will ever become mundane and boring...far, far more chance of me getting burnt out!!!

Where am I...? What day is it...?

2011-03-02T09:06:00.003Z

Awoke in a hotel room this morning with genuinely absolutely no idea which country I was in and what I was supposed to be doing next...I know it's a case of seen one hotel room, seen 'em all, but perhaps I may be travelling a trifle too much....

Had a strapping leather-clad biker across my kitchen table this morning

2011-02-28T23:45:00.005Z

...no, most definitely not like that! A colleague and I felt we needed an off-site meeting in order to ensure we weren't interupted when going through some heavy business issues. Given the weather has been so lovely and Spring-like he decided to come up on his motorbike. Minor Mayhem was most impressed by the shiny black BMW on the drive when he came home from school albeit disappointed to find it wasn't Mum's...I am also pleased to report I had a reasonably productive day with no travel involved - yay!

2011-02-27T18:35:00.002Z

I have recently succumbed to an inappropriate pair of shoes beckoning to me , “buy me, I’m so beautiful”. I put it down to a mid-life crisis and have limited myself to photographing said shoes and matching bag as a memory to be preserved for posterity and will forthwith lovingly parcel them back up and take them to the post office to make their return journey to the great Kurt Geiger warehouse. I now know in the future when faced with exquisite but unfeasibly high footwear I will be strong and say, “yes, you are beautiful but you’d be lonely in a box in my cupboard, you need to go home with someone else.” ;o)

2 out of 3 aint bad

2011-02-25T17:12:00.008Z

as Mr. Meatloaf once said. Successful day yesterday...managed to make two senior management appointments so feel pretty pleased with progress. To celebrate I went for dinner with the MD and BD Director before ending up at the Blue Bar in the Novotel Trade Centre listening to an excellent live band covering all manner of rock classics and a bit of Lebanese traditional music (eclectic or what!?!)... all of which accompanied by copious 'Charlie Parker' cocktails. Just reward :o)

I am pleased to report that appointment no. 3 is heading in the right direction...just needs 'converting' and I was on the case first thing this morning despite a muzzy head. I had hoped to grab an hour by the pool to chill and grab some rays but was thwarted by a handkerchief sized paddling pool on the 18th floor in the shade of the aforementioned unfinished tower blocks :o/

There's only so much hotel living you can do without getting 'Cabin Fever' so a bit of escapism/exploration was called for. I went for a wander round the local area this afternoon, there's cranes a go-go...still sooo much building going on, as well as loads of stuff finished but unoccupied...begs the question whether there are enough inhabitants to fill the place and is no surprise that the rental rates have gone through the floor.

Continuing the vein of living it up....tonight I'm dining à la room service and watching 'Harry Potter & the Half Blood Prince' with Arabic subtitles...

Back to base tomorrow...

Back in the UAE

2011-02-24T17:08:00.004Z

again....Not quite sure how I got through the interviews today; major sleep deprivation... yesterday's flight was delayed, full of screaming babies, immigration queue at Dubai ridiculous, checked into hotel at 3.15am, next door neighbour snored so loudly I could hear him through the wall and then there was what sounded like an enthusiastic threesome going on above my head at 4.55am!!!!! View from window is half finished tower blocks, cranes and builders camp...

Legs 11

2011-02-21T20:36:00.001Z

I wish I was one of those women that has legs up to their armpits, but alas I'm not. The pair I have are seriously flawed so in order to address this shortcoming I have become obsessed with hosiery...but not any old tights...they have to be coloured or patterned and preferably both and I am bordering on OCD about them matching my outfit. In fact it would be fair to say I have developed a total tight fetish as my overflowing tights drawer will bear witness. However, I was pulled up short yesterday when clad in outfit finished off with navy lace tights and my fave Doc Marten boots Miss Sensible chastised me for picking her up from the stables in inappropriate attire. My question is dear readers, at what stage does such legwear become unseeming for one of a certain age?

Answers on a postcard to....

Ups & downs

2011-02-19T19:37:00.003Z

UP > Had a fab night out with Paddy the auditor on Thursday. We'd both had a pretty 'pants' day so made an impromptu decision to go for dinner and ended up in a great Spanish restaurant eating Tapas and consuming reasonable quantities of Sangria. As a consequence the plan to review 56 CVs accompanied by room service in the hotel went out of the window...apologies to affected applicants.

UP & DOWN > Despite me raising concerns about the feasibility of the bid we've been doing for a Russian company, the top dog has signed it off, so if we win it, it looks like I might need to apply for a visa and head off to Moscow next month. On the one hand I'm excited...always wanted to go there...and on the other, I know it's going to be a complete & utter nightmare of a job.

UP > The last bunch of Fijians now have visas so I can breath a sigh of relief that they're not going to be stranded in the UAE and go on the razz in Dubai, and Iraq will finally have all the resources they need to mobilise the project next week. Yay! Success!!

DOWN > A further group of personnel at my last workplace have been put at risk of redundancy. I know a lot of these guys personally as they worked for me when I was a Project Manager years ago and, without exception, they're highly competent individuals. The new management have ripped the heart out of that business...makes me sad on so many levels.

DOWN, DOWN, DEEPER & DOWN (bit of Quo) > Didn't get in from London until 10.40pm last night...some numpty had stolen the signalling cables near Evesham so I was stuck on the train in the middle of the Cotswolds for a couple of hours...not the bestest end to the week...

How did we ever manage without

2011-02-16T19:56:00.005Z

I am a total an absolute convert. Fragmented telephone calls, long-distance reverberating echos are now a thing of the past.

Until I installed the programme I'd struggled to keep in touch with the sproglets whilst I was in the Middle East other than via Facebook (yep, I know it's the comms medium for teenagers but...). Mobile phone signals over there are precarious to say the least and it's not ideal having to stand in the middle of open spaces in Basra!

On the work front it's meant it's way more straight-forward to reach a massively geographically dispersed candidate pool. Today I've conducted interviews with people in Iraq, Australia and both coasts of the US without having to leave the comfort of home. Plus it's free!

The only possible negative is the video capability...means I can't stay in my PJs ;o)

I confess

2011-02-14T23:01:00.002Z

that yesterday I knowingly did contribute to the profitability of John Lewis via the purchase of two new dresses. My excuse m'laud is that I need something suitable to wear whilst conducting interviews in hot climes, and that in providing said additional revenue I have also directly positively influenced the bonus of the eldest...which in effect lessens the negative impact on one's coffers.... ;o)

Just noticed previous post...I seem to be developing a somewhat schizophrenic wardrobe.....!

2011-02-12T10:23:00.007Z

The team network is coming in most handy...I've just been presented with a pair of regulation HM Army issue boots for my next trip to Iraq/Afghanistan, courtesy of the Grenadier Guards...I jest not. My Team Manager took pity on me following my tales of woe re. the quagmire at Baghdad Airport base when it rained, and had set his Forces contacts a challenge; to get a pair of suitable boots that would fit a girlie. When I got into the office yesterday there was a large parcel awaiting me containing a brand spanking new pair of exceptionally robust footwear <-

Said network has also produced an invite to visit the Household Cavalry stables with Miss Sensible in a couple of months...talk about perks of the job :o)

PS. Don't tell Queenie

It's not all been work

2011-02-10T22:32:00.006Z

I did manage to catch up with a couple of friends on the way back through Dubai. The fabulous Rallyman came and rescued me from the relentless interviewing & confines of the hotel and took me for a swift G&T and a good old natter. I also met with Obi Wan Kenobi who was on his way back in from Kuwait. Charming, & handsome as he is (spitting image of Ewan McGregor), I didn't go anywhere near his light sabre...I've heard plenty of tales and know where it's been ;o)

Over the two flights I did my usual cram of films...managed 7 this time...out of that portfolio my personal recommendations are; 'Let me in' and 'Never let me go'...both well worth a watch. Which reminds me, may I take this opportunity to apologise profusely to the passengers sitting next to me who witnessed my quiet weeping during certain films...softie at heart, just don't tell anyone.

2011-02-08T23:42:00.005Z

Part of the entertainment this job provides is finding all kinds of random airlines to travel with and yesterday was no exception...Global.

The fun and games starts at Baghdad airport where the check-in desk is not opened until the last possible moment and naturally locals are seen to first so I end up allocated literally & metaphorically the last seat on the aircraft (the safest I'm reliably informed). I head through to the departure lounge and, as usual, am the only western female so subject to much scrutiny.

On board I am accosted by the Colombian purser who demands to know what I've been doing in Iraq and strikes up quite a conversation resulting in him explaining to me he has a business he runs as a side-line specialising in the import of Colombian goods into Dubai and he's sure he could help my company...I dread to think what this might include. So there I am trapped on this aircraft with a mad smuggler and due to extreme turbulence feeling highly likely to throw up. Furthermore half an hour after I check into the hotel I'm interviewing a prospective Director....Some days they simply don't pay me enough!

Goodbye my trusty companions

2011-02-08T07:55:00.003Z

until the next time...

2011-02-05T21:35:00.007Z

Today's been eventful...started like something out of a sitcom as I managed to lock myself out of my bedroom wearing only my PJs! I was rescued by a young, 6'2" ex Marine wielding a screwdriver! It's been quite some time since a chap's tried to break into my bedroom!!!

That was shortly followed by the experience of interviewing a prospective H.R Director close to an Iraqi check point wearing a flack jacket. Yet another first!

The night has ended on a high as the guys made me a fab lasagne with salad and fresh bread before ensconcing me in a villa in the Green Zone complete with en suite...pure luxury in comparison with the norm accommodation here.

2011-02-04T08:43:00.009Z

Relocated from the boudoir due to the fact that there's a bleedin' great plate glass window which was highlighted as a risk factor should any 'devices' be activated! New room slight more sedate but bed not the most comfortable, plus every time the power goes off (pretty regular occurrence), the system bleeps loudly before the generator kicks in, and to cap the maximum sleep deprivation, I was woken by call to prayer from the local Mosque at some unearthly hour :o/

Someone's looking out for me

2011-02-03T14:12:00.011Z

I got upgraded to Business without asking...talk about customer service! I love Emirates :o)

I had a couple of hours in Dubai but although the company had provided a hotel room, and I physically got into bed, I didn't manage to drop off. I think it was a case of worrying I wouldn’t wake up for the second leg. So wish I could master the art of power napping!

T2 Dubai was as mad as ever. Total and utter chaos. They didn’t call or advertise my flight so I was sat waiting like a lemon until they tannoyed me. Didn’t make any difference as the flight was 50 mins late taking off anyway...bit of a different kettle of fish to the first journey. Anyway I can add to my list of carriers I've flown with - Jupiter airways...no I hadn't heard of them either...hardly instills confidence.

A PSD team collected me from the airport and kitted me out with flack jacket and helmet before whisking me away to our villa in Al Mansur where they have given me the most hideously kitsch bedroom you've ever seen...enough to give you nightmares. In the upside they have provided a fabulous fruit bowl and lunch has just arrived...toasties made with last night's chili...like living in a student abode all over again ;o)

Barmy/balmy Baghdad here I come

2011-02-02T10:02:00.003Z

Packed (congratulating oneself at how one's packing skills have improved - you'd be amazed at how much I can cram into a carry on case!), passport, visa & tickets checked, ipod re-stocked, $ and AED at the ready.

House spic & span, bills paid and bank account balanced.

The Sproglets have been given strict instructions to be good for their father, and warned that if anything happens to me they need to do their best in life or I'll haunt them ;o)

Right...I'm off again; BHX -> DXB, DXB -> BGW...glad I opted against the travel dept's advice to transit Jordan on the way out...

2011-02-01T19:19:00.003Z

Spent last night in the company of the first male permitted into my bedroom and on whose dulcet tones I've always hung.

Ever since I first heard 'Virginia Plain' donkeys years ago I've been a confirmed 'Roxy' girl. Bryan and the boys are part of my staple listening and had a major influence on my dress sense. I loved the whole 'glam rock/art house look' as Frosty photo albums will attest.

So last night I abandoned the sproglets and mutt to spend a couple of hours mesmerised by a 60+ year old lounge lizard and his crew at Birmingham's LP Arena. They performed loads of their back catalogue bringing back memories places I'd been, friends of old, young romance etc...really evocative stuff... Spot on in terms of musical performance, and smooth, suave and sophisticated as ever....simply brilliant :o)